Love food? Tried exercise? Yeah, that didn’t work. There has got to be a BETTER way!
Introducing Double-Action Digestion Destroyer – created with a grant from the Gluttony Immunity Initiative! Our Metabolic Mop-Up Mechanism provides Digestive Damage Control so you can eat all you want and still lose weight!
Piles of pancakes? Pounds of popcorn? Slice of cake? How about the WHOLE thing! The pounds STILL fall off with our patented Food Forgiveness Formula – your own personal Oral Intake Obliterator! No rabbit food. No starvation diet. No weighing portions. And absolutely NO exercise. Just eat and lose weight!
Side effects may include: gastro-intestinal distress, uncontrollable body odor, and extreme skinniness. Obtaining an Extra-Large toilet is optional but highly recommended.
Choose between our Binge Buffer Blend and Calorie Cancellation Compound. Also available in liquid form but YOU wouldn’t want to drink THAT.
Double-Action Digestion Destroyer: Eat everything. Regret nothing.
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