The CCC (Chicken Crossing Coalition) recently released a remarkably revealing report, showing serious speedway-related scrapes, suffered by their strutting supporters, are systematically soaring 72%.
“We simply seek safe street-side passage,” replies Charles Cluck, coalition spokeschicken. “Other organisms cross without catastrophe, so shouldn’t we succeed similarly?”
According to an appalling animal audit, countless clucking commuters sustained substantial scratches and grievous gashes, while attempting asphalt adventures.
The most menacing maladies, include ruffled plumage requiring remedial restoration, broken beaks from brutal braking, and what coop counselors are calling PCSD—Post-Crossing Stress Disorder.
“Birds become too terrified to traverse the tarmac,” explains Dr. Henrietta Hatchwell, henhouse healthcare healer. “They typically tremble at treacherous thoroughfares.”
Rush-hour rambles remain ridiculously risky, as wandering waterfowl face frantic four-wheeled fury amidst morning mayhem.
Lobbyists for this barnyard brigade are begging burdened bureaucrats,to better bolster protections for pheasants regularly risking roadway ruin.
Their proposed provisions? Widened waddle walkways, sturdy sidewalk sneakers, and fortified fencing to funnel foot traffic.
Even urban pigeons, pecking at pavement particles, report rising rates of near-miss mishaps during bumper-to-bumper boulevard binges.
“I haven’t hypothesized why these hatchlings hurry through hazards,” says Kristopher Kross, traffic taskmaster, “but ensuring elegant egress beyond busy byways, is my paramount professional priority.”
“I haven’t hypothesized why these hatchlings hurry through hazards,” says Kristopher Kross, traffic taskmaster, “but ensuring elegant egress beyond busy byways, is my paramount professional priority.”
However… not everyone endorses these egg-spensive expenditures, and elaborate efforts.
“Taxpayers shouldn’t fund these foolish fowl’s, flagrant flaunting of sensible safety structures!”, argues Senator Paula Pennypincher.
“Where does this wasteful wellness spending stop? Next we’ll be building bypasses for budgies, and overpasses for ostriches!”
Despite the discord, some jurisdictions have judiciously jumped into action, taking this predicament under their wings, while working wildly to ward off appalling automobile atrocities.
Poultry pedestrians, deserve peaceful pathways, provided by protective products. Just like every other animal who ambulates among us.
So as long as flocks forge forward, there will always be courageous critters, trying to triumphantly trek, to other territories.
This is a timeless truth.
